Tenderness: What Every Young Boy Needs

Apr 23

How The Tender Bar Chronicles an Unconventional Growth Experience

Every year, new best-selling memoirs are published, more and more of which are then turned into film adaptations. More often than not, these are inspirational tales of successful writers, doctors, or lawyers that are products of a broken family who overcame insurmountable odds. So you may be asking yourself, why exactly do we need another one? What makes this child so special? Why do we need The Tender Bar? Trust me, we all needed this movie. It shows us that certain qualities that society frowns upon can get us further in life than carefully following the rule book.

In one of Ben Affleck’s first films since reuniting with Jennifer Lopez, he returns to the screen in The Tender Bar with a healthy glow. Based on the best-selling memoir by J.R. Moehringer, the movie follows the life of 8 year-old J.R. Maguire (Daniel Ranieri) as he and his mom move back into his grandfather’s house on Long Island after eviction. Ben Affleck plays his Uncle Charlie, an exceptional wise-guy who fills the fatherly role by teaching J.R. what he calls “The Male Sciences”. The film chronicles J.R.’s childhood as he grows up, gets accepted into Yale University and eventually receives a job offer from the New York Times, with Tye Sheridan playing the grown-up version of J.R.

Some of the best scenes in this film take place within the walls of the titular bar, “The Dickens” where Uncle Charlie bartends while sharing his copious anecdotes of wisdom with J.R. Along the way J.R. gets to interact with the bar’s regulars who volunteer to back him up upon seeing his desirable charm and sharpness. As J.R. grows up and the actors transform into one another, Tye Sheridan expertly picks up where Daniel left off. Sheridan displays the key character traits that define J.R., such as his innocence that veers into naivité, while also building new ones by crafting new connections and relationships on screen. The actors in the film, which include Lily Rabe as J.R.’s mother, Christopher Lloyd as his grandfather, and Brianna Middleton, as J.R.’s college girlfriend, all have excellent chemistry as a family, and perfectly communicate a relatable tale about the average American family. As a lower-middle class family, the Maguires don’t receive everything on a silver platter, but they work for the strokes of luck that come their way. The Tender Bar is a one-of-a-kind film within its genre and possesses the “It Factor” that every director hopes to achieve. I don’t know what “it” is– possibly the unreplicable cast chemistry or genuineness– but it is my belief that if words don’t exist to explain your love for a film, the “It” factor is there. And, well, I happen to be speechless.

Director George Clooney is known for his actor’s perspective while behind the lens, and it is evident in The Tender Bar, as there’s a certain smoothness and eloquence that follows the film from start to finish. There is no wasted potential nor any missing scenes. Between the best soundtrack I have ever heard in my life and the casual dialogue that also communicates complexity without being confusing, The Tender Bar glows with radiance. It’s as if after wrapping the filming, Clooney just took a polishing cloth and swiped it across the reels. Nothing in this film looks like hard work, not even Daniel Raimiri’s outstanding breakout performance, where he manages to achieve the portrayal of one of the sweetest child characters in Hollywood without an ounce of pretentiousness.

Many times while reviewing films, I find myself searching for the theme or the message of the movie. But what does it mean? What is it trying to tell me? In this case, my search was quick and painless. While some directors like to use metaphors and objects to hide the true meaning behind their creative genius, George Clooney does not beat around the bush, which is more my speed. The film toys with familial and gender roles and both the positive and negative tension in the relationship between a mother and son without the mediator of a father. For most of his life, J.R. lives in a chaotic household filled with cynicism and cursing, not exactly a nurturing environment to grow up in. Despite the importance of his lessons in “the male sciences” with Uncle Charlie and the male patronage of ‘The Dickens’, J.R. 's emotional growth happens during his nightly conversations with his mother. Do his experiences within the Dickens suggest that a boy needs other men in order to become society’s stereotypical expectation of a man? Maybe not, as J.R. grows up to be a strong but sensitive man who ends up getting his heart broken, instead of breaking hearts. The writing of this film goes against the traditional grain, as J.R.’s most important and best qualities are the result of moments and conversations with his mother. His strength, compassion, perseverance, and ability to dream are all products of her wisdom. With the film ending with J.R.'s fruitful writing career, The Tender Bar essentially throws traditional gender and familial roles out of the window of J.R.’s mother’s station wagon and proves that you don’t need a traditional household to raise a normal, successful, and strong child.

Though it may just seem comical at the surface, one of the key developmental scenes in The Tender Bar is when J.R. and Uncle Charlie meet with his elementary school’s psychologist, who claims that J.R. has no identity due to growing up under the shadow of the name of “Jr” with no “Sr” to look up to. Throughout the film we see J.R.’s identity shine through and prove that psychologist wrong. This film proves that the identity is fluid, and not set in stone in childhood. From the age of eight and through college, J.R. has been told who he is and what he will do; he has been told that he doesn’t have an identity (by the psychologist), that he’s going to be a lawyer (by his mother), and that he has a father complex (by his girlfriend, Sydney). Having endured exceptionally hard work, heartbreak, failure and success, J.R.’s identity fluctuates with the tide of life. By the end of the film, despite not having a clear name, a fundamental characteristic in building an identity, J.R. has accomplished everything that he planned as a young child with people around the country knowing his name. That’s an identity if I’ve ever seen one.

The story of the Maguire (IRL Moehringer) family is an exceptional tale and will make you wish you grew up with an Uncle Charlie (or maybe Uncle Ben Affleck). Rather than taking a memoir about overcoming the odds and making it into yet another dark gritty movie, like Hillbilly Elegy, George Clooney leaves the story in its simplicity and lets the actors and music do the work. As soon as I saw the trailer, I recognized the art behind The Tender Bar. I could not have enjoyed this movie more if I tried.

The Tender Bar is available for streaming on Amazon Prime.